Looking Back on 2016

I went to so many appointments in preparation for jaw surgery to correct my bite...
Dentist
Periodontist
Orthodontist
Oral Surgeon
Plastic Surgeon
and
Physical Therapy.
My surgery is finally happening in a few days so I wanted to share a small bit of my year now.

I spent a lot of time sewing
Playing with kittens
Watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia & Bob's Burgers
unpacking...
searching for springs
and Nathan and I started brewing again!

I did a bit of travelling...
NY, MA, NJ, NH, ME, VT, & PA
Norway, Ireland, & Canada
I went to many awesome concerts and music festivals (they need their own post!)
and climbed some breathtaking mountains.

I stumbled upon the Gardens at Yaddo.
Saratoga Springs, NY

I climbed Cascade Mountain with Michelle.
Made it .3 miles from the summit, daylight fading.
Icy hike and my crampon broke...
Cascade Mountain 4,098′

Michelle on Cascade Mountain, Adirondacks.
So much ice...
Keene, NY

View of Mud Pond from a clearing on Cascade Mountain, Adirondacks.
Keene, NY

Norway

Me and Nathan on the water front in Bergen, Norway with Bryggen behind us.

Bergenhus Festning.
Bergen, Norway

Nathan and I in Gudvangen, Norway during our Norway in a Nutshell Tour.

Snowshoeing on a mountain in Aurland near Flåm, Norway.
The Norway Crew - left to right - Me, Becky, Andrew, Rich, & Nathan.
Fjord Safari

Parliament building with the full moon rising in Oslo, Norway.

The Fountain in Frogner Park.
Oslo, Norway

Me at Akershus Festning.
Oslo, Norway

Ireland

Ha'penny Bridge over the River Liffey in Dublin, Ireland.

Me near Newgrange, County Meath, Ireland.

I was so excited that Nathan had to call ahead for me to stop so he could take the picture.
The Ireland Crew minus Rich and Nathan at Trim Castle - left to right - Becky, Mike, Andrew, Mel, & me.
Trim, County Meath, Ireland

I hiked approximately 11 miles in the Catskill Mountains with Nathan, Ashley, Steve, and Marie.
No photos.
I didn't take my phone with me and forgot to change the batteries in the camera.
There were no "views" and the terrain was... steep.
Big Indian Mountain 3,701'
Eagle Mountain 3,602'
Haynes Mountain 3,425'

I took this photo during a recon mission a couple weeks before the hike.
Catskill Mountains, Seager, NY

My sister Rebekah came to visit me for my birthday and we went to New York City by ourselves...
I had an amazing time discovering the city with her. We had originally planned to go to the top of the Empire State Building to see the city and beyond, but it was a very rainy day. We just took it easy and enjoyed everything that we could. No pressure to rush. I did make her walk some miles... Sorry Beki.

My sister in the Empire State Building.
Manhattan, NY

Me at Rockefeller Center.
Midtown Manhattan, NY

Minton Tiles at Bethesda Arcade in Central Park.
Manhattan, NY

View of The San Remo towers from across The Lake in Central Park.
Manhattan, NY

I turned 40...

View of Mt. Greylock from the summit of Monument Mountain 1,642′.
Great Barrington, MA

I crossed the Brooklyn Bridge for the first time.
Brooklyn, NY

Me and Nathan on the Brooklyn Bridge.
Brooklyn, NY

My favorite fountain at The Mount (Edith Wharton's home).
Lenox, MA

I got to see some of my first loves at the Rock'n Derby in Schaghticoke, NY.

Sebastian Bach from Skid Row.

Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme.

... and my beloved Marilyn Manson with Twiggy at SPAC, Saratoga Springs, NY.

Reminiscing back twenty-two years to the first time I saw him perform... I cried for our youth.

Nathan and I moved to Saratoga Springs, NY

Logan in our new house!

The kitchen in our new house.
I love it so much!

Morrigan in our new house!

Woods Hollow Nature Preserve, Ballston Spa, NY
A nature preserve that I can walk to from my house!

Looking back and seeing this photo I took visiting Canada for Heavy Montreal is weird... foretold.

Montreal, Quebec, Canada

The Illuminated Crowd

Sculptor - Raymond Mason

"A crowd has gathered, facing a light, an illumination brought about by a fire, an event, an ideology - or an ideal. The strong light casts shadows, and as the light moves toward the back and diminishes, the mood degenerates; rowdiness, disorder and violence occur, showing the fragile nature of man. Illumination, hope, involvement, hilarity, irritation, fear, illness, violence, murder and death - the flow of man's emotion through space."

Lake Champlain (Cumberland Bay) looking towards the Adirondack Mountains, NY.

I slept in a hammock at the Seawall Campground in Acadia National Park, Mount Desert Island, ME.

View from Great Head Trail.
Acadia National Park, ME

Hiked Precipice Trail, "The most challenging trail in Acadia," with Nathan, Michelle, and Jim.

View from the summit of  Champlain Mountain (1,058') after climbing up .8 miles on Precipice Trail.
Acadia National Park, ME

And we rode our bikes on the old carriage roads.
I will admit, riding bikes in Acadia was one of the most physically excruciating things I did all year.

Looking out across Eagle Lake after a bike ride.
Acadia National Park, ME

Nathan waiting patiently for me in the Italian Gardens at Congress Park.
Saratoga Springs, NY

Michelle and I visited The Natural Stone Bridge & Caves Park in the Adirondack Mountains.

The mouth of the marble cave which creates the natural stone bridge.
It wasn't until this vantage that I realized we had already crossed the bridge.
Pottersville, NY

Oyster Shell at Artist's Gorge within The Natural Stone Bridge & Caves Park.
Pottersville, NY

Becky and I rode the Carousel in Congress Park.
Saratoga Springs, NY

Me and Becky!

I climbed Crane Mountain with Nathan.
Not an Adirondack High Peak, but I made it to the top!
Crane Mountain 3,254'

View from the summit of Crane Mountain, Adirondacks.
Johnsburg, NY

Me and Nathan during our Crane Mountain climb.
Johnsburg, NY

My good friends Ashley and Steve got married in the Poconos at the Split Rock Resort.
Their wedding was a fantastic celebration and I was happy to be there.

A view from my room at the Lodge.
Lake Harmony. PA

Split Rock
Lake Harmony, PA

Saw the Black Sun of Melancholy & Mapplethorpe exhibits at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts.
Art Should not be Censored
Quebec, Canada

Hall of Springs, Saratoga Spa State Park.
Saratoga Springs, NY

I got to go inside the Hall of Springs in Saratoga Spa State Park!
Saratoga Springs, NY

I hope to continue to share my adventures from this year in 2017. I still have so much I want to share about Norway, and I haven't shared any stories from Ireland yet... or Acadia.
Most of the photos were taken by me, some by Nathan, and possibly by any of my friends mentioned in this post!

Daddy

I wrote this years ago. Writing has always been cathartic for me. Lately, I feel it's okay for me to share some of my sorrow. I know I'm not the only person who has dealt with the loss of a loved one. So, here is a little story I wrote based on a dream I had about my dad. I miss him terribly.

Me and my dad at Rialto Beach, WA 1997.

I felt restless. The moon was full, which had become a predictable warning that I would struggle to find tranquility through sleep. While I was anxious with the horror of being awake forever, darkness soon engulfed my wandering mind.

The cold of winter was like death, hanging on the outer reaches of the night. The bitterness of winter took away what was left of my awareness, numbing every part of me that somehow still resembled life. Just at the blackest moment, right before the sun begins its ascent, I walked through the pristine snow. Although I felt alone, a companion walked with me, making me forget about the deep sorrow I felt in my waking hours.

“Where have you been?” I asked out loud.

You said nothing, only smiled. Reassured by your presence, we continued to walk.

As we walked, I told you the reasons I longed for escape. Why I desired to run away from my trivial daily existence and escape to this world where I was safe. How the monotony of life was not worth my waking anguish. I felt trapped within myself, ensnared by my fears.

“What is it you truly fear?” you asked sincerely.

I knew the answer. My all consuming fear was the certainty of death. As I thought about mortality, a terrible panic rose inside me. Dread brought on doubt.

Instead of admitting I was afraid to die I asked, “Will I ever obtain satisfaction through marriage and children, or achieve success through a fulfilling career?”

“If this is what you desire, it will be,” you replied confidently.

“What causes me the most pain is the knowledge that in the end, none of it matters. Nothing is special… nothing lasts forever,” I said dejectedly.

You had taught me that everything had a purpose, eternity was a possibility, and that time is a concept of man. Life was a lesson and when we finally, truly understand, we will be able to move on to something greater than this.

It’s not easy to admit that sadly, without you, I have lost the enthusiasm to believe in these ideas.

Many times I have come here seeking guidance, only to be abandoned… standing in the cold, alone and desperate. I was not going to find it on this night.

I was wrong in my assumption that I wouldn’t find what I was looking for. Just at the moment all hope had been lost, a brilliant red appeared in my sight. It beckoned me and I drifted calmly towards the enthralling color. It spoke to my emotions, filling my soul with tempestuous energy. Every emotion was intense as waves of passion, anger, courage, and aggression crashed through me. Overwhelmed by such deep feelings, I had a difficult time remembering why I was here.

Regaining focus, I noticed my unexpected fascination was actually a small red velvet bag, tied closed with a gold ribbon. Although there was something vaguely familiar about this object, I had no knowledge about what was in it. Awareness consumed me, and I knew that it was a treasure that had been lost to me for some time. I got closer to the bag and thought twice about picking it up. What harm could it do, when I knew it was mine? I gathered it close to me. Holding the bag delicately, I opened it and reached inside.

A small horned dragon rested in my palm.

“What does this mean?” I heard myself say.

I studied the wooden figure that had been crafted with precision. As I held the dragon, a pleasing melody surrounded me bringing with it warmth. The dragon was painted yellow with emeralds shining for her eyes.

My mind began trying to piece it all together. I stood alone in the bitter cold, with fresh white snow drifting through emptiness of night, holding a… symbol of my soul? I had a glimpse of understanding at that moment.

I am my own adversary.

At times I had been violent and reckless, with a temper that was far too often quickly ignited.  My emotions frequently overwhelmed logic, leaving me in the possession of great passion and infinite ambition.

The constant need to achieve perfection makes me my worst enemy.

As self loathing invaded everything I am, I looked up and found that you were still beside me, smiling. I was okay for now, but anticipation of the unknown was making my heart beat fast. I felt that it was loud enough for the entire waking world to hear. My breath came in shallow gasps and was visible in the cold. You held out you hand for me to grab hold of. No sooner had I placed my hand in yours, I was whisked away to a beach in the sun. Everything seemed bright and yellow filling all my senses. We walked a while and I asked, “Can I stay here with you?”

The answer was most painful. An unfamiliar voice echoed in my mind, “You cannot continue to exist in parallel worlds. You have to go.”

I do not enjoy recalling the moment I was torn away from you. A bullet entered my head, and I choked on the blood escaping my body. Red filled my vision as my eyelids fluttered. I struggled to stay alert. Failing at my attempt to maintain consciousness, blackness drifted through me. I woke startled from all that had happened. Painfully I returned to my world, tears streaming down my face. I knew at that moment that I would never be able to return to your world again.

Reality sunk in as dawn approached. I wasn’t with you. Many times we have come together in my dreams. This time though, when I woke, emptiness suffocated me. I knew it was the last time we would ever meet. I understood clearly for the first time that a mortal cannot follow one who has left this realm, even in dreams.

Alone, I am without you for the rest of my life. My loss of you is such a tragedy. My deepest regret from that dark night in the snow is that we never got to say good-bye.

Bryggen

Me and Nathan in Bergen, Norway with Bryggen in the background.
This is one of my very favorite pictures of Nathan and I.

Looking back
I was so caught up in seeing Bergenhus Festning
I didn't realize what a treasure I was overlooking along the waterfront.

February 15, 2016
The first night Nathan and I were in Norway
Trying to acclimate ourselves to a new time zone, we went out exploring.
The streets were vacant and cold, and all the shops were closed.
Enjoying Bergen's nighttime cityscape across Vågen Harbor, Nathan and I walked in front of the iconic wooden buildings of Bryggen for the first time.

February 16, 2016
The following day Nathan and I walked around Bryggen.
However, we didn't venture into the World Heritage Site.
All built out of wood...
It seemed a particularly dangerous place.
What happened if there was a fire?
Surely this place would burn down!
quickly...

I learned later that the buildings of Bryggen had burned down.
repeatedly...
Yet they would be built back up again.
Always replicating the original buildings from when the Hanseatic League did trading in Norway.

Schøtstuene entrance near St. Mary's Church on Øvregaten.

Walking down Ovregaten, Nathan and I came across the entrance to the Schøtstuene.
"These rooms were assembly halls for the Hanseatic merchants during winter time. Due to the danger of fire, Schøtstuene were placed separately behind the other office buildings. In winter hot meals were served here. The buildings were also used for teaching and as courtrooms, meeting rooms and party rooms. The museum consists of three assembly rooms and a kitchen." The Hanseatic Museum and Schøtstuene

Mariakirken (St. Mary's Church)

Right near the Schøtstuene entrance, Nathan and I came upon an old church. It seemed older than the other buildings in Bergen. I was excited to be able to run around the grounds and look at the old gravestones.

Me on the side of Mariakirken.

Apparently, Mariakirken is the oldest building in Bergen! It is said to have been started being built between 1130 and 1140 and completed around 1180.

February 19, 2016
I'm almost certain everyone in our crew decided to rest on this particular morning.
Becky and I however, went searching Bryggen for a wooden cod we saw a picture of our friend Alex riding. And to be perfectly honest, we wanted to ride that cod too!

The wooden buildings of Bryggen have wooden alleys in between every second building. These alleys lead to a common area where the Bryggen Wishing Well and Wooden Cod can be found.

I wish I would have taken more photos while investigating Bryggen with Becky.
I was just so caught up in the moment.

light footsteps echo
on the narrow wooden path
going behind the modern facade
of storefronts and restaurants.
the foreboding doom of fire
doesn't seem to faze tourists
while I...
I imagine the stench of
fermenting fish
drying along the shore

all men.
no women allowed...

Bryggen from the corner of Strandkaien and Torgallmenningen.

Bryggen Hanseatic Wharf at night.

Manhole cover in Bryggen.

A view of Bryggen's wooden buildings from Øvregaten.

Wooden Cod

I spent a lot of time learning the process of drying cod.
Way more time than any vegetarian should. I must admit I actually found it fascinating.
Stockfish.
I always imagined that the fish were salted for preservation. The fact is, salt wasn't a popular commodity until the 1600s, and therefore stockfish was cured by using the environment. Cool weather from February to May helped to naturally ferment the fish along the wharf, drying on wooden racks called hjell. When the weather would get warmer, the fish would be moved into the wooden buildings of Bryggen to finish drying.

The Bryggen "Wishing Well"

"We do not want to charge visitors to the Bryggen World Heritage Site an entrance fee. Instead, may we ask you to drop a coin or two into the wishing well (Norwegian coins, please). All the money collected will go towards the conservation of Bryggen. Thank you for your contribution."
The Bryggen Foundation

Hanseatic League - London, Riga, Brygge, Skaane, Hamburg, Bremen.

Hanseatic Wharf

Bryggen, the old wharf of Bergen, is a reminder of the town’s importance as part of the Hanseatic League’s trading empire from the 14th to the mid-16th century. Many fires, the last in 1955, have ravaged the characteristic wooden houses of Bryggen. Its rebuilding has traditionally followed old patterns and methods, thus leaving its main structure preserved, which is a relic of an ancient wooden urban structure once common in Northern Europe. Today, some 62 buildings remain of this former townscape. UNESCO

All photos were taken by me and my friends.
For more photos of Bryggen... Click Here!
For more photos of Churches in Bergen... Click Here!